[Herr D]

Thank you! The auction went well. Problem is, I can’t spend spellcredits.

Ah, well. These three items to be assembled and artified by Tuesday, 3/6/18 at 2:40 EST. TBJ by 8:10 EST.

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[Herr D]

“This piece for auction at Bastahr’s is a rare find, indeed. A pack clasp from the rations pack of an unnamed member of the famed Diving Dragon Squadron survived the fiery crash of its owner somehow, and was collected by an orphan near the crash site at the close of battle. It is made of tempered firebrass with inlaid red mica shards, onyx florets, spell-brazed copper, and a single faestone gem. No additional information on the methods of those warriors for mastering the elements of fire and air has been uncovered. The provenance has been updated to confirm that the last three owners’ deaths in fiery accidents have had no connection to ownership of this piece. The asking price has been lowered, and it will be auctioned at sunset tonight.”–Bastahr spokesman, by means of bespelled pedestal-respeaker.

*boot for mouth and clasp frame, shoulder piece for head, and hilt deco as eye.

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[Herr D]

I imagine you would have won that if your faun’s right hand hadn’t been on backwards and the lantern pole hadn’t been kind of floating with no support from the shoulder. Very good look.

[Herr D]

I would suggest to leave the sleeves oversized, but put twist-wrinkles on the forearms and add small sleeve-yawns for a more 3d look. Then it becomes foreshortening rather than a scale issue.

[Herr D]

Timor’s great! Gun in the schoolgirl’s hand looks a bit oversized?

[Herr D]

That orc was amazing. Blood mage’s fluids look realistically fluid. He’s a bit too symmetrical for my taste.

[Herr D]

Shown here with two nymphets (one naiad, one dryad,) this is the Faunz!

*Fauns-winnah

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[Herr D]

My master and I were sailing his fishing boat further out when came upon an inky-black part of the sea. He had been teaching me the second lesson in judo recently, and so we went ashore to practice on a rust-brown sandy beach.

The thing that attacked us he called an ‘ork’ later. He swung a spiked ball on a chain riveted and plated to where his left hand should have been and had an odd scimitar in his right hand.

He hit the stump of a tree as I dodged. My master pushed a dagger into the chain and twisted. As the chain broke, the ork swung his blade. My master dodged, and the blade cleaved the old stump, but lodged there. My master put a thumb-lock on the ork, and it TORE LOOSE OF ITS OWN THUMB. In spinning to attack my master again, it caught its right foot under its own blade and tore it off. Roaring, it limped after us down the beach. We reached the boat without issue. I asked my master whether we should kill it out of mercy.

My master pointed at it wedging a boulder loose from the muddy shore, and asked, “Mercy for it or for its next foe?”

It heaved that boulder over fifteen man-lengths in our direction. It landed a mere hand-span from our boat and nearly capsized us. We sailed on.  *orcs

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[Herr D]

[belch] good meal, Keric. Got a plate of three items with a deadline garnish?

[Herr D]

2/3/18

Mr. Henrikson:

Today, my morning run along the fiord to the job you promised me had ‘nothing dangerous’ about it, was interrupted. A half-kilo out, I saw my car was torn in half. Rooting through the wreckage was a troll. He had a height of eight feet, shoulder span of about five, nose width about two. He saw me and gave chase till he realized sunrise was imminent.

He ran back to the shack, attempting to get under it, but smashed through it completely, along with the entire inventory, save a single beach umbrella and five packs of salted nuts. I would have took a picture with my cellphone, but I have no space left. My family photos are much more important as they have passed on.

He was looking for cold medicine, as one of his victims had had a cold. He sneezed out a booger as big as my head, which turned to feldspar. In doing so, he nearly dropped the umbrella that was keeping his upper third safe, save most of an ear and his left arm. I demanded payment for your business and my car. He refused, explaining he wouldn’t buy anything broken. I realized his home was probably under the old bridge another hundred meters past my parking place. I told him he could give me all his gold or give me the umbrella back. He agreed and told me how to enter his lair. After I had a look at the other items in his possession and took a partial deposit, I demanded all his stored possessions in exchange for not phoning the quarry before sunset. I demonstrated by calling the realty company for the value of the building just destroyed and the approximate value of a gravel-covered lot in its place. He agreed, though angrily. I called a cab. I went to town. I hired an armored truck,  began your insurance claim, requested a tax reassessment and a large dumpster, and personally visited a rental car agency, a department store, a bank, and the quarry.

I made him agree not to come after me or send anyone or anything after me in exchange for four tubes of sunblock, which I applied with a long-handled mop. He ate the mop, the umbrella, and the nuts afterwards in exchange for loading the dumpster with all the debris he didn’t wish to eat with his then-free arm. With the armored truck and the dumpster full, I drove off as the quarry workers arrived, ready to hose off some sunblock and harvest some stone. I had several more stops to make with my rental, including the bank, the police, and the post to send you this notice.

You will see I am not heartless, as I opened a business account in your name for the retail amount of the inventory I could verify, the till amount minus my coming net pay, and a sizeable deposit for a new business location. The police now have several missing persons’ belongings and a story they don’t believe. Your cousin? The one with the cold? They verified for me he was working the shack when he disappeared. They’ll ask you some questions, no doubt. Since I didn’t move to this frozen wasteland till after he was eaten, they didn’t do more than check my passport history and listen to me claim I ‘found’ their stuff under a bridge.

Don’t try to find me. He told me how to call trolls to eat my enemies. I’m retiring somewhere sunny with very few bridges.

Your ex-employee,

Harry Brown

 

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[Herr D]

Origin stories’re obviously coming along nicely. That would be a tough pose, hanging off a helicopter, wouldn’t it?

[Herr D]

That cart’s code might need to BE in custom backgrounds–excellent. Your sheep did make me laugh, along with the comment about foliage. I think eventually you’re going to find that sometimes the background, the foreground, the subject, AND the objects can be each others’ foliage. Sometimes that is the only way NOT to spend hours on construction. Working on a piece right now that I planned out on a post-it note with a pen while my littlest posed wearing an impromptu ‘fat-suit,’ holding a twig up like an umbrella. Us artists have to solve our odd problems in odd ways sometimes.

Never apologize for bulky backstories. Concision comes with experience, and sometimes the audience needs longer sentences to process good work.

Oh, and check out the earring Ears item where there’s a linkage. Build each one into a circle?

[Herr D]

Hanster, what a debut! I want to see the techpriest–I have a few people he could have, um, improved on a bit . . . What’s he look like?

[Herr D]

Reminds me a bit of what Frodo saw when he put the ring on–only in more color.

[Herr D]

I’m thinking the code for some of these would be sought after in our laboratory–I mean, our LIBRARY. You’re one of the few here who makes BOTH templatable poses and backgrounds to such high quality.

[Author]

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