Herr D's CFLs

[Herr D]

The Beamish Boy had to swing a vorpal blade at the speed of a rapier to match the Jabberwock’s speed, and the vorpal blade is heavy enough to decapitate at one blow. How did he get that strong?

Chewing . . . about a year ago, this boy who loved to smile put some cake in his mouth made by the Mad Baker, whose work is scattered all over Wonderland. He spat it out, having stubbed a toe. Only his smile grew. Smiling and chewing require LOTS of reps.

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[Herr D]

Sightings are rare, of course, as the romaine wings can’t be used to fly for very long.
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[Herr D]

“Seth Powerslid Out Of The Smoke Playing Air Guitar”

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[Herr D]

“Guanlong About To Have Heated Words” is about that moment when he loses his temper. He lives with painful burn scars 24/7, due to flaming debris that persisted the first time he changed back human. Sometimes people showing revulsion don’t live to regret it.
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[Herr D]

Born in Miami, Florida to a poor family, he was headed to a poor high school, with only a job as an amateur exterminator. No one suspected that he was actually BREEDING and then torturing the mice infesting the local warehouses. Suddenly, he began to win contest after bee after science fair after placement test. Some people get zits, he got smarts. His first week of high school, he figured out that a junior was bedding a principal for good grades. No one is quite sure what he sprayed on the principal’s car, but the fire department couldn’t put it out for long enough that they gave up and had it compacted into a cube and buried it in a sand pit.

He came forward and said why. “Statutory rape is a crime,” he said, “and no one believed me.” The principal went to jail, the junior was removed from the school, and he? He plead his case to the judge, explaining that he would like to serve his country, and juvenile delinquents couldn’t make much of a difference. He was bussed to Hollywood Hills Military Academy. No one imagined that he had timed his case to fall into the docket of the only judge in his jurisdiction to ever order military school as part of a juvenile sentence. No one realized that HHMA was the only shot he had of working with drones in high school. No one thought that it was all part of a greater plan.

He enlisted the day after graduation. He tested out of basic training to become a lieutenant in the Army. He shipped out while most cadets his age were still IN basic training. All the way to the Middle East, and no one in particular noticed the hacker that shuffled some five thousand applicants until he was sent to that ONE location straight out.

The last shipment to leave that section of Iraq with a cargo of C4 was delayed by onboard computer issues in the cargo planes twice. Purdue himself fixed them just before the base went dark. According to his report, he only survived by a series of coincidences and clever maneuvering. He testified that insurgents killed the other one hundred and twenty-two personnel on the base with a combination of weapons that included poison gas and explosives. They captured him with damaged dog tags. The ‘LT’ on his dog tags was so damaged that they believed it read ‘COL’ and began torturing him for information. They cut off his left toes, then his foot, then his lower leg and then his little finger and ring finger from his left hand. He said he escaped by using a combination of poison, explosives, and other weapons. No one questioned the C4 being missing, along with three million dollars’ worth of drone equipment, at least at first. No one contested his medical discharge. No one thought for a moment that he might have self-amputated. When his last physical was complete, he was released stateside, benefits pending final investigation. Five out of seven of the investigators are MIA. No one has reported finding remains of the insurgent stronghold he described. The case has been shelved, until such time as the region is considered stable enough to continue it.

When his parents and sister died while he was being shipped home, the local police looked into it. Something had blown up in their basement with an obscured chemical signature. He returned home executor and sole heir. No one had seen a drone start the fire in the paint-and-cleaner-filled basement. He started a small business. Extermination again. As the local homeless population resumed it’s remarkable tendency to drop, some people he knew eventually connected him with people closer to his level of evil. He now works with the big boys.
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[Herr D]

Hairy told me abt this species that can only mate while the female is fighting off predators. The males learn to fight with outer tentacles and hold on borrowed shells as armor while mating with — uh . . . their other parts. The female fights around the male through holes in more borrowed shell material. ‘Arthropodia Bellus.’ Seen here near a ship complete with three visible ‘pearl cannons.’
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[Herr D]

“TacV” was slapped together quickly by five car mechanics who were terrified of not getting home from their business trip. The sides were made from semitrailer sides backed with angle-iron trusses for ram prows. Gunports covered with notched sheet steel coated with melted tire scrap line each side. The top is recessed so that no one sees people emerging from the three hatches. Rainwater collects into tanks for coolant. Two solar panels do charge the batteries. A Prius engine powers one end, and a Jeep engine powers the middle (one engine in neutral at a time.) Altered Ford Explorer transmissions bring the power down to the wheels, which have more tire scraps and fire extinguisher foam inside the tires. Either end can steer, and a hydraulic jack mounted inside can be used to untwist wheels after taking damage. Top view above side view.
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[Herr D]

He was sick of being thought of as a freak. So he perfected looking just like anyone else. He perfected the art of quick change. Then he started practicing arson. True to his circus roots, he went by ‘Rube’ from then on, whether disguised as an ordinary man or woman. Without his special gear, he would NEVER pass for that . . . he’s destroyed most of the records of his appearance. There’s some on a server down the street from you–hey, do you smell smoke?!
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[Herr D]

The Western Runner. There’s always that scene: “Black Bart’s BACK” or “The mill’s on fire” and the runner has to deliver the line. Here he is depicted on the way to put bullets in the hero’s gun between shots unexpectedly from behind cover.
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[Herr D]

SciFi crossed with Fantasy and Western. “Gunner Giles’ Close Call Climbing The Vino Grande” depicts that moment when a shot parted the hero’s mane.
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[Herr D]

After the performance of Christmas, Santa’s got to blow off a little STEAM. Ditch the sleigh after cutting the reindeer loose, roll up the sleeves to show the tats, change to the skating jacket over a band-themed tee, and go for some rip-roarin,’ snow-bellyin,’ guitar-riffin,’ ACTION.
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*On a personal note, never open four windows on YouTube to listen to Christmas Carols while watching thrash metal and snowboarding and skate-stunting videos.

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[RobM]

Herr D wrote:

He was sick of being thought of as a freak. So he perfected looking just like anyone else. He perfected the art of quick change. Then he started practicing arson. True to his circus roots, he went by ‘Rube’ from then on, whether disguised as an ordinary man or woman. Without his special gear, he would NEVER pass for that . . . he’s destroyed most of the records of his appearance. There’s some on a server down the street from you–hey, do you smell smoke?!

Beautiful storytelling – art and words, both but the picture really tells the story on its own.

[Herr D]

Thank you! I’ve actually been surprised how few people notice the footprints.

[Herr D]

Submitted, though work in progress–pleasantly surprised to receive honorable mention. Original intent was to have upper right wing partly folded to show matte black back. I thought that perhaps he could glide face up during night missions for short flights.
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[Herr D]

Claws within claws are an interesting mutation. (Brown-out prevented me actually submitting on time. Familial issues prevented me dealing with all the thick outlines as well as I could.
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