Herr D's CFLs

[Herr D]

Always pleased to be associated with the muppets!

Eager to see what’s on the menu with you.

[Herr D]

Professor Hirminez had this idea. Time travel should be impossible, right? Because entire objects couldn’t stay intact at photon speed.
But photons don’t need to travel at a different speed to reflect different colors. So, what you need is the equivalent of a Farraday cage made of photons, tune in your holographic imager to the right frequency, and you’ll get a refracted image of the future. Because the same photons are in both places at both times, right? Just a matter of calculating the exact coincidental photonic multinomial equation and allowing for gravitational resistance.
Some of the longest-running equipment with patterned electronics, patterned heat, and dense metals with less radioactivity that stays? Well, except for nickel and copper, that would be the U.S. Mint. Factoring in nickel and copper as the major variants, since just those two metals come in and out of the building in sufficient bulk, and all other materials repeat their near-exact substance–

Well, at least he should get a clear view of a distant-future dead President of the United States, right? It would be right on the engraving plates! And maybe he’d find out whether they ever solved the blue ink consistency problem.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/FuturePicUSMint_zps7eb149e5.png
The Professor has just quit. He typed up his two-word resignation and headed straight for the nearest bar.

[Herr D]

Pilot Program — Paired Factoids

A former NASA employee went on record saying that human beings would make poor pilots for long space flights because of “certain inherent problems with concentration, boredom, and having the same priorities that call for a more normal life.”
A certain autistic savant managed to calculate six complex navigational computations in thirty-five seconds. He actually beat the computer program, which took thirty-seven seconds.

Various experts in several fields have been responsible for improving things like monitor screens and office furniture, citing the need. Obviously most people aren’t terribly capable of staring at a screen all day and sitting in the same position for hours on end. Various office accessories and exercises, not to mention protective gear, have been developed to ease the discomfort and unpleasantness of such factors in the work environment.
Several educational programs around the country have begun teaching autism spectrum students and other disabled students to communicate and do schoolwork more normally through the use of iPads and other computer equipment. It does seem to help immensely with some types of education of certain students.

A well-known cosmonaut, after setting the record for longest time in space, suffered from bone loss and atrophy of his musculature. Multiple strategies have been discussed by experts to prevent this sort of damage happening again. Not everyone agrees on how well they will work.
Freud and other psychologists have recorded multiple instances of people with schizophrenia and other conditions being unusually capable of surviving without harm extreme cold, poor nutrition including calcium deficiency, long periods of little or no physical or mental stimulation, stale air, contaminated water, and unusually low light. Experts still disagree as to how these phenomena are possible.

After a study was published on how taller people are more frequently promoted, more than one person noted publicly that certain promotions are NOT possible to the very tall. For example, there is usually a recommended maximum height for military pilots of helicopters, submarine crews–for any specialized vehicle. It is simply less economical to build specialty vehicles for the big and tall portions of the population.
Premature births, some have theorized, are causing the population to become both shorter and lighter. There is not enough data to support such a hypothesis. There is, in fact, considerable data to the contrary, but such a change would take many generations to take effect.

The NSA found among recorded transmissions a data burst titled “Pilot Program Stage I.” It was encrypted and received, apparently, by a waiting receiver in a Water Authority building in a certain borough in New York. Content implies that fluoridation of water is an effective measure against the spread of some microorganisms through water.
Some oddities were discovered in security footage in a public utility control room. The security cameras were on a time-lapse setting of thirty seconds instead of the intended three seconds. The source of said error has not been determined.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/WaterAuthSecurity_zps693f1f59.png

Many people have noticed and commented that autism and mental illnesses appear to be becoming more common. Prematurity has increased to apparent incidence of one in eight births. Modern medical science has improved neonatal care to the point that babies more frequently survive being born much earlier than the standard gestation period would suggest possible.
While some people worry over humanity becoming more dependent on pediatric surgery and more involved in noticing the value of ‘differently enabled’ people, some people will always utter the comforting words that “everything happens for a reason.” Really, many religious people believe that humanity has it’s “higher purpose,” that “there IS a plan for all of us,” that “all will become clear in the great beyond.”

[Herr D]

**amalgam

This is the last page before the ads in issue number one of “No-Jack Meets The Fedora Five!”

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-NoJackShotByFedoraJim_zpsa330d5c6.png

Full Circle’s Spring Heeled Jack had a ‘demonic’ thin look with blue cloud breath and the ability to jump. Penthouse’s No-Man had a downloadable consciousness and disposable robot bodies. So Full House Comics, by Pentacle Productions, now has a hero named No-Jack who is a jumper that can download with–no . . . jack–to any electrical device, jump through the grid to his next body.

[Herr D]

**OPMC

Antigrav Solutions revolutionized the industry of curating by creating the programmable antigrav exhibit free-hover module. It was a long overdue invention as the number of genetics anomalies and new species had been doubling about every two years.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-ExhibitsByAntigravSolutions_zpsb9c5b5ea.png
*

[Herr D]

**psy ct

Excerpts of Field Report GHDT345225-8375

Insurgents had prevented my return to base, so I proceeded with all due stealth in pursuit of remaining target. I was out of water and dangerously low on ammunition (one full clip,) when I saw the target taken by a small man, Caucasian, brown hair, using a taser from behind. The street was full of unfriendlies, so I kept my position. The locals gave him a wide berth out of obvious fear. The abductor used an engine lift to get my target into the back of a pickup truck and drove away.
At sunset, I abducted a witness and questioned him, finding him surprisingly helpful. Apparently the locals refer to him as ‘the Nazi,’ and they have observed him for nearly a year. He abducts people of mixed ethnicity and takes them to a compound on the edge of the village. They leave him alone. My informant drew me a detailed map and begged me to not reveal his identity should ‘the Nazi’ take me.
The following morning I reached the location to discover same pickup truck under wreckage of a low wall. I fully expected my target to be responsible but saw no sign of ‘the Nazi’ or my target. Infrared detected two bogies inside, barely moving. After cursory recon and prep, I entered.
Two men of mixed ethnicity were attempting to free themselves from leg manacles chained to the wall. They were wearing rags and peculiar hardware around the neck. They had managed to turn on an air conditioner across the room by throwing wrenches from a spilled toolbox. They explained to me that they lived a few villages away, that ‘the Nazi’ had taken them, and that he had tested them in a peculiar way.
‘The Nazi’ rigged three long shelves full of modified machine guns. A device randomly pointed and fired the arsenal at the opposite wall, which still had targets painted on it from a previous owner. Their restraints were wired with anti-tampering explosives and remote unlocking mechanisms which would release them for testing. The two men were tested with rubber bullets and showed me extensive bruising. They spoke of my target having failed a live ammunition test the night before. Then they asked about a woman.
They pointed out a third set of manacles, explaining that ‘the Nazi’ had forced her at gunpoint to clean up the testing room, that he had hit her, that he had tested her with live ammunition. They believed she had somehow escaped and that the abductor had left in pursuit. I did not understand at the time, the word ‘precognition’ in their dialect, but recognized it later with the help of a translator.
I found my target’s body just where the men told me it should be. I recovered ‘part one’ of the “package,” still in his pocket. The testing room was just as described, and a similar set of neck hardware and cuffs was on the floor. I took two modified machine guns loose from their mechanisms, twelve live clips, and wired the room. The men revealed a pantry with two cases of purified water, canned sardines and soup, cheese, multivitamins, and fresh goat. I cooked the goat and split it with the men while I examined their neck hardware. With forty hours to spare before my next possible extraction, I removed backup batteries from their neck hardware and left them with tools to remove the rest after the primaries failed. They explained to me that they believed her backup battery had failed right before the test and thanked me for leaving most of the supplies within their reach. I believe I heard them detonate the testing room after I left town.
Recap: a small Caucasian man, brown hair, brown eyes, and a woman of mixed ethnicity, brown hair, green eyes are wanted as persons of interest. One of them is probably in possession of a small package of great importance to the CIA. The man is known only as ‘the Nazi,’ is armed and dangerous, and is apparently obsessed with psychic research. The only other information we have about the woman is that she apparently survived a precognition test and escaped ‘the Nazi.’

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-PrecogTestSurvivor_zpsc8d2f3a3.png

[Herr D]

[looks to see if wife is watching, opens marsupial-like pouch on blue tentacle] Yeah, okay. Out past G47, there’s this way station? They have a low-gravity cabaret I found a couple of years before I met my wife. The locals are all about what translates to ‘tickle pop,’ not your usual kind of music. The star of the place is quite easy on the eyes, ears, etc. They never have a shortage of backstage Thimbacas! She’s on the secretive side–none of the locals know where she hails from, and she claims it goes against her upbringing to share her true name or let even her lovers know how many hands she has. (More than six!) She smudged her message to me as she switched pens . . . [fumbles out old picture]

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-DivaOfTicklePop_zps8d476628.png

*/*OPMC

. . . she was in kind of a hurry to make the next show. I promised I’d never forget her. [stuffs pic back in pouch]
–WHAT’S THAT HONEY?!

[Herr D]

**pq
There are some things you just shouldn’t SAY in some places.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-MisunderstandingInMaternity_zps94aeb06d.png
*

[Myro]

Oh, that’s hilarious.

[Herr D]

Thanx, Myro. I was very surprised to realize how difficult it is to make a reclining pregnant pose look real contrasted to the relative ease of staging a hospital bay . . . I would have expected that one to go the other way. Luckily Backplane/Std came to my rescue.

[Herr D]

I really do miss theater. Even the campy, cheesy productions.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-TakeSix_zpsc97c13bc.png

I tried to enter this in the ‘companions’ contest, and it wouldn’t let me log in over there. Is anyone else having this problem?

[Herr D]

I’ve loved the history of media for a very long time. Especially Rod Serling, a guy who depicted many odd things happening to people, explaining in his way how regular people are.
I’ve always had this fantasy of palling around with him at a Halloween party, but, of course, that could never have happened. Our masks going as each other wouldn’t have fit. I’m not old enough to have ever met him.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-SerlingAndMe_zps0f11f635.png

Still, fun to imagine!

[Herr D]

I am pleased to report my concern for this young female was groundless. Far from being suicidal, putting edibles on your head among hungry, erratic, and predatorial company in her circumstance is just a form of celebration in her culture. The pyrotechnics were more dangerous by far. Blowing things up in the sky and burning models of important cultural icons can get a bit loud as well.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-FestivalHeadgear_zps939306e7.png

. . . even loud by her standard. I managed to hear her inform a large male nearby that she had a headache and that he should focus on the explosives for his own safety.
*
**Keric spoke highly of this one in his Thursday challenge, and I am surprised to realize that no one else has done one of these hats.

[Herr D]

Elizabeth was plagued her whole life by the thought she’d forgotten something. Her personal life suffered, her career flourished, and she was fast-tracked as far as she could go. Who wouldn’t want an employee who can catch every mistake and work tirelessly to fix them?

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-Oops_zps358c931b.png

Of course, it’s not always possible to catch mistakes IN TIME . . .

[Herr D]

This is my first attempt at a harvest moon. Having only one moon seems to make it very important. I mean, if we had three or more, would we really name every color combination, phase, etc.? It’s bright, so probably would look better behind a silhouette or dark character?
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HarvestMoon_zps785d80e9.png

The code for this is in the custom items gallery if you want it. Enjoy!

[Author]

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