ONE-ARMED BANDIT
Original Character Design by WMDBASSPLAYER; Story by The Atomic Punk
Sure, I could have patented my laser technology. By rights, my discoveries should have been the property of the Institute. Those clowns and the government would do the same thing. Turn my invention into a weapon. What kind of thief would I be if I let someone else steal from me?
I found a very unique combination of elements to create this awesome power ring. With it, I can cut steel, blast through brick walls, throw cars, even create a force field. If I pull off this gem heist, I should be able to perfect anti-gravity. That’s right, I will be able to fly!
Some people speculate that I cut my own arm off while creating my ring. You wouldn’t know me on the street as I wear a simuflesh prosthetic when I’m laying low. Truth is, my stump is a birth defect. It didn’t stop me from becoming a black belt in karate and judo. It didn’t keep me from being a track star in college.
Why don’t I build a new arm with the laser in it? A couple of reasons, moron. First, that would require a permanent neuro-splice. That is, it would be hard-wired to my body.
I am a laser scientist not a cybernetic surgeon. One good tug is all it would take. Not just to remove the laser, but potentially kill me. A professional would no doubt want more than cash. He would also want my ring technology. Like I’m going to trust anyone to put me under the knife.
Second, rather humiliating to get your butt kicked by the One-Armed Bandit. Psychology is just as powerful of a weapon as my ring. Some of the prouder and more boastful “heroes†don’t want to face me again. Makes it easier to plan targets and what opposition to expect. They soon earn a reputation for cowardice.
I love all the “expert analysis†when it comes to my motives. Therapists claim that I am angry at the world because of my left arm. That I feel “ostracized.†That I am “lashing out.†The police say that I am just a high-tech jewel thief. Yes, I specialize in precious stones. I need them to power my ring.
Ask any of my ex-girlfriends. They will tell you. I’m a jerk.
