Category Archives: Challenge Favorites

I am happy to announce that the winner of Caption Contest 34 is ... Runt82!

This is Runt's second win, so big congratulations for him. I had immediate flashbacks of doing the hokey-pokey at the skating rink when I was growing up, and this guy would have fit right in there. Good job! Other honorable mentions included:

• marx: That’s right! My henchmen and I shook up every can of soda in the fridge! We’re hard-core evil like that, baby.
• HalLoweEn JacK: Fear me! All will trmble before ‘The Tugger’.
• Rick: I shall have my Yahtzee. You will see!
• Fishpants: Prepare yourself for…let’s see…3d6 damage plus two! Bwa ha ha ha!
• Fishpants: You FOOLS! For the last time it’s LEFTY-LOOSEY, RIGHTY-TIGHTY!

Thanks to everyone for the great entries! Not all of them were necessarily age-appropriate or censor-ready, but they were certainly entertaining.

I am running a couple of weeks behind on my prizes, but rest assured Runt82 will win his very own custom black and white illustration of whatever he likes. Last time he chose Draco, so I'm curious to see what we come up with this time around. Stay tuned for your chance to win your own drawing from yours truly, coming up later today!

The winner of Caption Contest 33 is ... MLS!

MLS wins a custom black and white illustration of whatever they like (within reason), which I'll post to the blog when completed.

There were a lot of really good entries this time, I guess everyone gets inspired by floating wienies. I know I do. Here were the ones I thought were particularly funny:

• Meg: Unidentified frying objects!
• Vengeance: Cry havoc! And let slip the pies of war!
• Will: Oh no! My “dinerkinesis” manifests itself at the worst times!
• Niall Mor: This is the second weirdest breakfast buffet I’ve ever seen.
• Kaldath: I know I said I wanted my order to go but this is ridiculous!
• Rick: I said I like the same thing every day not everything the same day!
• Danny Beaty: I’ll never eat at Chez San Andreas again!
• Yusuf Mumtaz: The Telekinetic Waiters union is getting too powerful.
• Whit: This isn’t what I meant when I ordered a float!

It was a real toss-up for me between MLS's entry and Meg's, Vengeance's, Will's, and Niall Mor's. All of them I thought were especially creative and funny and I had a really hard time deciding. I particularly tip my hat to Will for coining a wonderful new term; I look forward to Marvel's upcoming "Dinerkinesis Man", I think we can all agree that would rawk. I think what finally decided me in MLS's favor was the whole concept of a guy deliberately setting out to create -- on purpose -- lenses whose whole purpose was to levitate food. That's just awesome. And then imagining what kind of outfit that kind of guy would come up, that just cracks me up and tickles my brain in just the right way.

Many thanks to everyone's awesome entries this week, they are truly inspired. Congratulations to MLS, and to all of the honorable mentions as well. Great job everyone!

Your chance to win your own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like is coming up in just a bit, so be sure to check the site often!

For the first time in the history of the Caption Contest, we have a back-to-back winner, as Caption Contest 32 goes once again to Whit!

I still haven't gotten him his first prize illustration, so I guess I might as well be in to him for two of them! Congratulations to Whit and everyone else who entered. The honorable mentions were:

• Yusuf Mumtaz: Long story short, this is what happens when you mix booze and super glue…
• Fishpants: Let’s see ya track me on radar this year, NORAD!
• Will: Well, I know a couple of drinking buddies who are going straight to the naughty list!

Keep an eye out for Caption Contest 33 and your chance to win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like, every Tuesday at HeroMachine.com!

The winner of Caption Contest 31 and his very own custom black and white illustration of whatever he likes is ... Whit!

I think what sold me on this one was imagining him saying that in a really smarmy voice like Jim Carrey from "The Mask", and how delightfully un-self-aware the comment is. Well done, Whit!

The other Honorable Mentions from this week are:

• Jasper: “Oh boy, oh boy I finally get to play Gordi!
• TheNate: Dirty mouth? Clean it with new Orbit Breath of Death chewing gum.
• Gregg 1: Does this eye-grate make me look fat?
• Gregg 2: I’m Jared and I lost 435 pounds eating at Subway!
• Level: Thanks for the lift, not everyone in North Dakota’s gunna pick up a hitchhiker wearin’ a bucket on his head.
• The Icedaemon: “Colgate Rad - guaranteed 100% clean, 100% white teeth. [tiny font] side effects include spontaneous mutation, skin cancer, desire to wear impractical headgear, death, photosynthesis…[/tiny font]”

I actually typed The Icedaemon's up in Photoshop to see how it would look all fonted-out, but it didn't quite click. And I loved Level's blog-reference to that Random Panel the other day, that was funny. And had Jasper not misspelled Geordi LaForge's name, he might just have come away with the win.

Well done all around, thanks everyone!

I am happy to announce that the winner of Caption Contest 30 is ... Rick!

Rick is now a two-time winner, so big props to him for that. His previous prize was Emissary, so I know his new black and white custom illustration will be something cool, too.

Many thanks to everyone for the great entries, particularly these Honorable Mentions:

• John D: Cry Havoc! Let slip the Poops of War!
• Fishpants: Quick, get Bananakin Skywalker..it’s the attack of the clowns!
• Danny Beaty: That’s evolution?
• jasper: Cry slapstick and let loose the pies of war!
• Frankie: “Get your stinking paws on him. You damn, dirty apes!”

Check back later today for a new Caption Contest and your chance to win your own custom black and white illustration!

I am pleased to announce that the winner of the Patriot Contest is ... Brittanica, by Kaldath!

Kaldath wins a custom color illustration of Brittanica, which hopefully we'll start on asap.

Thanks to everyone who entered and voted, and I apologize for the three-day outage which restricted the number of ballots that could be cast. I'll be posting a regular caption contest here in a couple of hours, so stay tuned.

And congratulations to Kaldath!

The winner of Caption Contest 29 is Runt82!

This was a close one, with lots of really good entries. What ultimately pushed Runt82 over the top was trying to imagine what form his breasts would take once the Wonder-Nip Powers were, in fact, activated. The mind boggles. I can honestly say that any one of these Honorable Mentions deserved to win as well, they all are still making me laugh even as I type this:

• Ian: Shorts…bunching…up…the agony…!
• Jasper: “Safety word! Safety word!!!”
• The Doomed Pixel: AHAHAHA! Invisible chainsaw!
• Neil Leslie: But I don’t want to be a superhero! I want to . . . SING!
• timespike: My eyes are UP HERE, pig!

I think Doomed Pixel was the most creative -- I never would have thought of an invisible chainsaw but it totally fits. Jasper's entry is just sick, which of course I love, and I am always up for a good "shorts binding up on me" joke like Ian's. Neil Leslie clearly knows I am a sucker for Monty Python. And timespike's entry is just very, very funny and ironic. Great job, everyone!

Runt82 wins his (or her) own custom black and white illustration of whatever s/he likes. Check back later today for your chance to win!

The winner of Caption Contest 28 is Loki!

I only saw two other Honorable Mention entries:

DJ:

1.(BG)ME WANT CANDY NOW!
2.(Head)I AM NOT A PEZ DISPENSER!

I like this one because I can see it happening in an actual comic book. Plus, comparing him to a Pez Dispenser really makes me want to see what comes out when you squeeze him.

Frankie:

Big guy: “Stay back! Don’t come any closer. I’m not afraid to use this!”
Head guy: “Um…Bang!? Bang!?? I don’t know.”

And this one I like because it makes me think about how ridiculous all of these shape-changing stretch-guys are, and wonder why they don't get into situations like Frankie describes more often.

I was late posting the winner due to my NYC trip, so Caption Contest 29: Shiver me nips! is going on now, with your chance to win your very own custom black and white illustration just like Loki!

The winner of Caption Contest 27 is ... second time victor DJ!

DJ becomes just the second two-time winner, along with xStacy, so congratulations are definitely in order to him. Well done, sir!

The other honorable mentions last week were:

• Bael: Teach YOU to wear a nipple ring to a gun fight.
• Patrick: ... and that’s for “Youngblood!”
• Loki: DO NOT. MAKE FUN. OF THE HEAD WINGS!

I should be posting the next contest in just a little bit, so check back soon for your chance to win your very own custom illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert!

The Mighty God King has spoken (perhaps in consultation with Rex the Wonder Dog, perhaps not, he's not saying) and has chosen Evil Midnight Lurker as the winner of Caption Contest 26!

The other entries that made me personally laugh out loud were:

• John D: Wait!! i’m not part of the seafood platter!
• Frankie: And here I thought blowing up a barrel of fish would be easier than shooting them.
• Jev: This is not my beautiful vault, these are not my beautiful coins!
• Syzyx: Water off a duck’s back? Sure. But the fish still hurt.
• God of Plague: One more cruise like this and I’m gonna be Screwed McDuck.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and to the Mighty God King for guest-judging. Evil Midnight Lurker and I will start working on his or her custom black and white illustration asap -- for your own chance to win, take a shot at "Caption Contest 27: Crack is WHAKT!" going on now!