Author Archives: JR19759

What Were They Thinking?: Wee, Weed And Weirdness

You know, I feel that I'm often too negative here on What Were They Thinking (the place where we look at the stupidest, most ill-advised things in comic book history), so today we're going to start out by taking a look at one of the greatest moments in comic book history; the time Batman knocked out Guy Gardner in a single punch. Here it is:

These four panels are perfect in pretty much every way. It tells you everything you need to know about both characters involved. Guy Gardner is a ass-hat who can't back up what he says and everyone is happy to see get put in his place, whilst Batman is a legitimate Badass (capitalised) who can lay out another "superhero" in a single punch and not lose his train of thought, or even really care that he just laid a guy out.

So, what we can take from that is that Batman has an unimpeachable aura of awesomeness that puts other lesser beings to shame. He isn't the kind of guy to wet himself on his first mission is he...

Oh

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Caption Contest #88

Ok guys, time for another caption contest, where you have to come with the funniest replacement dialogue for a random comic panel of my choosing. This week you have to replace all of the dialogue for this panel:

Everyone can have a maximum of 3 entries, entries must be in by next Wednesday (March 1st) and All Entries Must Be PG-13.

The List: Ranking Every Doctor From Worst To Best

This list was voted for by you guys. Your votes decided the order in which the 12 men (not including John Hurt as The War Doctor) to have played the titular character in the seminal BBC series Doctor Who placed on this list. And this is important to note because I disagree entirely with the placements on this list with the exception of the person who came last. I agree with who made the top 3 but I would have had them in a slightly different order and I completely disagree with every other placement. But this isn't one of my lists, it was a vote and I'm not going to claim fraudulent voting or present any alternative facts that will make everything appear as I want it to, despite the fact that I could if I so wished and you'd never know, I'm just going to show you things how they are. So, with that all said, here is what you guys decided was the order of Worst To Best portrayals of The Doctor (and where I'd rank them).

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What Were They Thinking?: Goblindegook

Marvel are the best at being the worst. It's a phrase that we've used often here on What Were They Thinking (the series where we look at all the stupidest, most ill-advised things in comic book history). Whether it's terrible storylines (usually involving a respected female character being abused in some form or another), awful farmed out reboots or being assholes to creators, it's amazing that Marvel actually function. Oh and lets not forget the crossovers, which, if they had physical form, would look like something out of Resident Evil they're so messed up. And the resurrections of course, I mean, we covered those enough on the last two lists, but when you can't even let Barney Barton stay dead after over 40 years, you know you've got a problem.

So, as I'm sure you've all guessed by now, this week we're talking about Marvel, but which stupid incident is it this week. Which screwy storyline are we going to laugh at? Well, how about a storyline that actually shouldn't have been screwy, but then the editors got involved. Ladies and gentle-mutants, I give you; The Hobgoblin Saga.

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Caption Contest #87 Results

Ok, so last week I asked you guys to give us the best replacement dialogue for this panel:

And as usual, here are my top 5 entries:

William A. Peterson: Crybabies like you are always losing your head over something!

HerrD: You voted for WHO?

HerrD: I don't CARE how much you saved on your car insurance

PrimeLionstar: Can you do me a favor? How sharp would you say this is?

Skoul: Just a little off the top, right?

But, as always, there can only be one. And that person is...

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The List: Top 10 Longest Deaths In Comics

Following on from last weeks list, where we looked at the shortest periods between a comic book character being killed off and them being resurrected, this week we're looking at the longest periods between the death and resurrection of characters. We're not looking at characters that have never been resurrected (amazingly, there are actually some) because that's a list for another time. As we all know, nobody stays dead in comics (unless they're Uncle Ben). Many people look at Barry Allen as the greatest example of a comic book death and some people say that, prior to his resurrection in 2008, his was the last true death in comics. However, Barry was only pushing daisies for a paltry 22 years and 7 months. That's not even enough to make the top 20 if this list went that far. So, lets get in to it shall we.

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Poll Position: Who’s Best

After a three week spell deciding who is the best version of certain famous DC comics characters, this week we're returning to our original set-up of Poll Positions that will lead into lists. However, I'm not quite ready to let go of the "which of these characters is the best version" format quite yet. So, are there any other characters who have had multiple versions whilst still retaining the same name? And is there any topical reason to do a list? Hmmm. Oh wait, Doctor Who.

Seen as Peter Capaldi has recently announced that the up-coming series will be his last, now seems like a rather appropriate time to decide Who is the best Doctor, or, to shorten the question, who's best? We're only counting the 12 numbered Doctors, so the late great John Hurt does not count (R.I.P).

[polldaddy poll="9661928"]

What Were They Thinking?: What A Load of (Ta)Rot

So here on What Were They Thinking? (the series where we look at the stupidest, most ill-advised things in all of comic book history) we talk about Marvel and DC a lot, and that's understandable. They are the Big 2, the comics publishers with the longest histories and the largest outputs of stories and behind the curtains politics to pull from when it comes to bad ideas. But that doesn't mean that indie comics are off the hook. No sir, they can be even worse at times *cough* Image *cough*. But today, instead of talking about the people you might expect, I've found something that really, really needs to be highlighted on this series. So we're going over to Broadsword Comics and their long running series; Tarot: Witch Of The Black Rose.

(Reader Discretion Is Advised)

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Caption Contest #87

Ok guys, time for another caption contest, where you have to come with the funniest replacement dialogue for a random comic panel of my choosing. This week you have to replace all of the dialogue for this panel:

Everyone can have a maximum of 3 entries, entries must be in by next Wednesday (Feb 15th) and All Entries Must Be PG-13.

The List: Top 10 Shortest Deaths In Comic Book History

Death. It's the thing that happens when you stop living. If anyone is blown away by that revelation, then you obviously spend way too much time reading comic books, where death is just a plot point that can be reversed at any time. Death in comics doesn't work the same way as it does in real life. Not only is death often personified in comics (I'm particularly partial to Neil Gaiman's interpretation from his seminal Sandman series), but it's also easily reversible, through science (alien or human), magic, reality punching or plain lazy writing, where the writers bring a character back and just don't both explaining how. Every great comic book character has died at least once. All of DC's most famous Justice League line-up (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern Hal Jordan, The Flash (take your pick as to which), Aquaman and Martian Manhunter) have kicked the bucket at one point or another and then been miraculously fine after a short time away, as have three quarters of the Fantastic Four. Spider-Man, Mary Jane, Aunt May, Norman Osborn and Harry Osborn have all "died" at one point or another and death and resurrection have become such a recurring thing in the X-Men that they've even acknowledged it in the comics, with Charles Xavier quipping that mutant heaven doesn't have a gate, it has a revolving door. But who in all of comic book history has had the shortest spell of deadness before their inevitable resurrection. Well, after some research, I think I've found them, the Top 10 Shortest Deaths In Comic Book History.

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