Author Archives: AFDStudios

When even Aquaman laughs at your powers, you're in trouble

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 6, 1941.)

The Final Thrusts

When last we left our alien-suited Cosmic Guardian, we were deciding whether to give our suit to Dale the Purple Mucus or to try and take out the planet-destroying Second Tower in Space ourselves. By a narrow three vote margin (!), we opted for the latter. And thus:

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How do you cock your eyes?

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 6, 1941.)

Boomerawful

Just because he was the King doesn't mean Jack Kirby didn't throw out the occasional stinker. And that the stinker wouldn't come back and hit him in the face, like with the original Boomerang:

Given the configuration of that helmet, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this was actually yet another Hank Pym incarnation. But no, a closer look reveals that no tiny insect control technology is present, just a primitive version of a karaoke machine:

I love that the giant General Mills Cereal logo on his chest is actually the control panel for his rocket boots. I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong with that kind of an arrangement in a fight. "I don't know, Iron Man, I punched him in the chest and the next thing I knew he was launching into the sun!"

You also have to dig the giant puffy sleeves with the throwing discs sewn in. At least, that'w what he wants us to believe, but secretly I think he has a phobia that he'll lose a button on his pants during a battle so he carries dozens of spares.

This isn't entirely Jack Kirby's fault of course. Most of the blame has to fall on whoever thought up the idea of a boomerang-based character in the first place. Did they think guys with bows and arrows were too overpowered in a world with Iron Man level weaponry? I can only imagine the discarded sketches for Atlatl-Man, The Human Marble, and Captain Discus.

(Image and character © Marvel Comics.)

"Please, what's the latest on Tim Tebow?"

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 6, 1941.)

Spider-Man vs. Spider-Man

My apologies for the late time of this posting. I was in L.A. all morning in meetings, upon whose completion I immediately had to rush to the airport (where there's no free Wi-Fi, those bastards!). I've since been in the air or eating until now, when I finally have a chance to post our Versus poll from the friendly confines of the Denver International Airport. Namely:

I enjoyed the Batman versus Batman discussion last week, so I went to the well again in light of the recent Spider-Man flick. Also, I ignored my long-standing "no nerd fights on the Internet" rule and got involved in a bit of an imbroglio on a prominent super-hero site about the alleged deficiencies of "The Amazing Spider-Man" and its titular star.

So I turn it over to you, gentle readers, as I duck beneath a hastily-erected barrier sure to be proof against the ravages of Nerd Spittle. Who is the superior Spider-Man, the character portrayed by Tobey Maguire, or the more recent Andrew Garfield?

Have at thee!

[polldaddy poll="6382616"]

Great moments in sound effects

(From "Target Comics", volume 2, number 6, 1941.)

Character Contest 95: Not Captain America

Your Character Design Challenge this week is to create the most awesome illustration possible featuring the idea of a country-based character from someplace other than the United States using HeroMachine 3. I've shown "Captain Britain" above, but there are tons of possibilities here. Your creation doesn't have to be the "country's mascot" like Captain America is, but some element of the native land should be present in the design or power set. For instance, you could create a villain called The Leprechaun, who's based in Ireland. And then the nearest Irish person would punch you in the face, but you get the idea.

The person with the winning entry as selected by our expert panel (i.e. me) will win their choice of a) a portrait to go in HeroMachine 3, b) an item to go in HeroMachine 3, or c) a custom black and white "Sketch of the Day" style drawing (also by me). The rules otherwise are the same as always:

  • All entries must be in JPG or PNG form (BMPs are too big), posted to a publicly accessible website (like ImageShack, PhotoBucket, the UGO Forums, whatever);
  • Entries must be made as a comment or comments to this post, containing a link directly to the image and the character name;
  • The image cannot have been used in any previous HeroMachine character design contest;
  • Please name your files as [your name]-[character name].[file extension] before you upload it. So DiCicatriz, for instance, would save his "Bayou Belle" character image as DiCicatriz-BayouBelle.png.
  • Please make the link go directly to the image (like this) and not to a hosting jump page (like this). See this post on how to get the direct link for most sites.
  • All entries must be in by next Monday, when I'll choose a winner.

No limit on entries this week, so knock yourselves out. Just make them good!

(Image and characters © Marvel Comics.)

Caption Contest 124 Winners

Many thanks to everyone who entered Caption Contest 124, which challenged you to come up with the best replacement dialog for this random comics panel:

I picked out the ones that made me laugh the most, and now I am using this here Internet machine thingie to reproduce them for your enjoyment:

  • Skybandit: I’m the $6 Million Dog Whisperer!
  • Gero: “Help, he drank the spot remover!”
  • MaDPac: “I knew we shouldn’t have let your mother hang out with transformers!”
  • Herr D: Scotty’s a rescue dog from Chernobyl–he’s fi-aaaahhh!
  • Herr D: –yeah, well I wish I had JELLO instead of a dog and a smaller nose–DAH!
  • TWIZTID HIPPY: At least now i can see when you need to go outside.
  • Gabe Puratekuta: “Great… You’re not going to bite me so I become a dog-themed superhero, are you?”
  • Frankie: “Well, I’m the new Jubilee, and (gasp!), ‘Wolvie!’ What did they DO to you?”
  • Joel: “No ice sculpture’s ever ever beaten me in a starring contest before and they ain’t startin’ now!’
  • thejay: I can see my NOSE in there!
  • ProwlerKnight: By god, my dog is a ghost and I’m turning into Michael Jackson!
  • MrMikeK: I wanted an ironic pet not an ionic one!

And the winner is ... Herr D!

Unfortunate personal grooming choices of WWII

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 5, 1941.)