Reply To: Herr D's CFLs

The press have been shut out. Witnesses won’t talk. Police won’t give a statement. Fifty-one bad shots by yours truly and ONE good picture of this nutjob leapin’ over a wall. By the TATTLE! Dumb rag got lucky. All anybody knows is that ‘Southpaw’ slices up people born in the year of the Rat and the year of the Ox that graduated from St. Paul High School. An Asian studies expert was hired. Alls they know is that it’s somebody with a grudge . . . who can get custom-forged metal claws, order high-quality ninja shoes off the net, and stitch together old silk pajamas and fake fur.

Nutjob’s victims have moved all over. Havin’ trouble trackin’ ’em down for protection.