Yearly Archives: 2011

Sometimes gambits fail

Gap-toothed farmer's overalls were not meant to combine with Eighties-era Olivia Newton John colors and fabrics. Sadly, in an alternate Marvel universe, such a fashion tragedy came to pass and resulted in this terribly unfortunate Gambit clone:

I'm from Louisiana. I've known Cajuns. I'm related to Cajuns. And I swear to you on my father's grave: No Cajun would ever -- EVER -- wear something like this. Not in pieces, not together, not in that color, and certainly not without some sort of matching accessories.

What I'm saying is, that alternate future must not only have featured the unholy Redneck Workout line of clothing from JC Penny's but some sort of soul-altering catastrophe that obliterated what limited fashion sense the people of the Bayou State have in our reality. And these are people for whom an undershirt is considered formal wear.

What I think actually happened is that in this timeline, Gambit accidentally mugged Dr. Polaris from DC's Green Lantern, and stole his boots. From that single terrible mistake flowed all the rest. Now it's socially acceptable to wear a terrycloth vest and purple Daisy Dukes when you're a guy.

We can only pray the Sentinels survived to wipe this devastation from the face of the alternate Earth, or we're all in big, big trouble.

(Image and character © Marvel Comics.)

SOD.243 – Brainiac 0.5

HM3: Masks by dblade

The very talented dblade has come through once again, providing some nifty new items for the Headgear-Masks set! I think you're going to get a lot of use out of these as you build your creations, so be sure to drop by in comments and thank him for his time and effort. Great job, dblade, thank you!

These items are now live, though you might need to clear your browser's cached to get them to show if you've recently used the Headgear-Masks set.

Best. Disguise. Ever.

(From "Big 3" number 1, 1940.)

This reminds me of my brother's favorite joke.

Q: What did the man say when a herd of elephants went by?
A: He said, "There goes a herd of elephants!"
Q: What did the man say when a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses went by?
A: Nothing, 'cuz he didn't recognize 'em.

We're simple people.

Poll Position: Greatest villain organization

After a bit of back-and-forth about just what a "villain organization" is, I have arrived at a list of the greatest such groups in comics history so you -- yes, YOU! -- can pass judgement on which is the best of the best. Or worst of the worst, if you prefer.

{democracy:187}

Without further ado, we race to the Bat Cave of Judgement!

Continue reading

Now THAT’s a super-hero story premise!

(From "Big 3" number 1, 1940.)

Character Contest 66: Cyborg

Your challenge this week is to design the coolest looking Cyborg character you can. Note that I'll be looking for entries that not only pass the "Does it look awesome" test, but that are actually combinations of organic and technological parts to make up the whole. Pure robots or pure androids, in other words, wouldn't really qualify.

Otherwise the rules are the same:

  1. Use only a HeroMachine applet (no PhotoShopping except for basic cropping) to create a PNG or JPG of your entry, named as [your name]-[character name].[file extension]. So DiCicatriz, for instance, would save his "Bayou Belle" character image as DiCicatriz-BayouBelle.png.
  2. Post the image to a publicly accessible website (ImageShack, PhotoBucket, the UGO Forums, etc.).
  3. Enter the name of your entry and a link directly to the image in a comment to this post. The image cannot have been used in any previous HeroMachine character design contest.
  4. The link to your image should go directly to the image (like this) and not to a hosting jump page (like this). If you see "preview" or "rotate" somewhere in the link you're probably doing it wrong.
  5. I'll choose a winner next Monday, who will receive his or her choice of any item or a portrait to be included in the final HeroMachine 3 program, or a "Sketch of the Week" style black and white illustration (you pick the subject and I draw it up however I like).

No limit on entries this week, so give it your best shot!

SOD.242 – Brainiac

Caption Contest 100 Winners!

We got some great submissions for the centennial edition of the Caption Contest, so a hearty THANK YOU to everyone who entered! I got some good laughs out of them, starting the week out on a perfect note.

With great pleasure, therefore, I present your Finalists, the ones I thought were the funniest or cleverest:

  • Joel: “Oh wait, it’s not? Sorry, could someone please tell me how I can get to Tokyo, sorry.”
  • nakiato: This is the last time i travel though Arizona without my birth certificate !
  • ajw: Extinct my ass!
  • Mr.Chris: “Seriously. I just ate a blowpop, what color is my tongue?”
  • HairWhip: “I’m the Hunchback of NotreDIE!!!!!!!!!!”
  • Ian Thomas Healy: “I asked my doctor about Celebrex, and look at me now!”
  • X-stacy: You can’t shoot me! I’m endangered!
  • Malfar: Everybody stand still, I dropped a lens!
  • Hunter-Hunted: “I put the ‘DIe’ in ‘DInosaur’!”
  • Hunter-Hunted: “Opposable thumbs, Baby! Now how do you like that??”
  • Patriot_Missile: Fin! Fang! BOOOOM!!
  • Knighthawk: I’m a Tyrannosaurs Rex, I CAN’T put my hands on top of my head!
  • frankie: “Vait! Don’t shoot. It’s me, Hitler.”
  • JWTx: Say hello to my little arms!

Those are all strong contenders, but like Highlander there can be only one. And so without chopping off anyone's head with a samurai sword, I hereby choose as your overall winner ... Knighthawk!

As the centennial winner, Knighthawk will receive a custom black and white character sketch of one of their creations. Congratulations!

Great moments in horrible pickup lines

(From "Mystery Comics" number 4, 1944.)